Stronger Than You Think

Blog post #9 By Jo Rodriguez

With tears streaming down my cheeks and some jittery nerves, I mustered up the strength to push the publish button and give the world a little part of me. I had mixed emotions of excitement, apprehension, joy, and relief. Thunder In My Curls has finally been completed and has kept me company every day, so watching it evolve and come to life brings me great pride, a feeling of accomplishment, but also a little sadness. It has been a true labor of love, one that brought a plethora of emotions and personal growth.

As with most writers, I struggled with how to deliver my own personal story and how much of it to share. There is so much to say and talk about and trying to put it down to a digestible level is more challenging than you would think. I pretty much just put my inhibitions aside and stripped it down to my raw emotions. Just like my attorney would tell me, just go up there and speak your truth and your message will be heard, so that’s what I did.

There is so much to my story that people don’t know and now the whole world will know it if they read my book. I have never had anything to hide, just my desire to have had some level of privacy until I was ready to share my life with others. Because of some of the delicate content, I had to tread carefully, but feel that the reader will understand some of what is left unsaid. In the end, I still have to protect the people that I love and those that will forever be in my heart.

As I sit here today sharing my thoughts with you, I feel a little like that dream that you have… that one that you forgot to get dressed or you forget your shoes….that kind of feeling. Putting myself out there like this is something that I never imagined I could bring myself to do, but my healing journey finally allowed me to see that I am stronger than I gave myself credit for.

I see myself differently and have truly learned to embrace the woman that I have become, perfectly flawed, and just perfectly human. I have never tried to portray myself to be something that I am not and those that know me the best, know this to be true. Always stay humble, is the way I have lived my life.

I grew up and came from humble beginnings with parents that struggled financially as most families do. I proudly grew up in a small barrio in the small town of San Marcos, Tx. and have not forgotten where I came from. I have worked hard since the age of 15 and never had been unemployed or dependent financially on anyone. With careful planning and support from my husband, I was able to take this time to focus on my dream of writing this book and I will forever be grateful for his giving heart and sacrifice.

I’m not sure where my story goes from here. I have always had a passion for writing and remember one of my high school teachers telling me that I should be a writer someday because she appreciated my potential. Little did she know, she would predict correctly. The thought has crossed my mind to do some children’s books in the future, so that is on my back burner.

Becoming an ambassador against domestic violence, child sexual abuse, and human trafficking during this journey is my calling and this will be something that I will continue to support and be a part of. My previous job experience as a program manager in the aviation industry taught me how to be an effective leader and communicator. I have tied all of these experiences into where I am today as a speaker and plan to use my voice to help those that need it.

One of the moments that I had a few days ago happened the day before my birthday. I was in editing and formatting mode trying to wrap up my book and it hit me… I realized that my life is most likely more than half over if I think optimistically for a long future for myself. It came to me that I have spent many of those years in fear and silence, needlessly. What a moment that was for me, I tell you.

As I sat there quietly pondering that thought, I decided that whatever time I have left in this world, will be spent living and no longer in a suspended mode. So, as my thoughts on the eve of my book launching come to an end here today, know that my heart feels free and where ever my journey takes me, I will embrace it fully!